elainegrey

I'm thinking, first, of reducing my public posting and logging much more privately. I think i'm going to try to be attentive and continue to write for myself (privately), but also write to share, with my friends list as an audience in mind.

I don't know how *that* experiment will turn out.

Today i'm feeling pretty fragile, beginning the day with irrational fears about the heat to come. To take care of myself, i used the singing lessons on the iPod as i was driving in. I think that helps open me up, releasing a certain amount of stress and, perhaps, acting as a sloppy meditation. (Instead of "om" it's "one-three-five-three-one" and "twe-e-e-e-eet.") I'm trying to manage inflammation pain as responsibly as possible, as well.

I've an appointment with Dr. C, a naturopath who, out of my first round of contacts, seemed the most willing to be a partner in the experiment i wish to do, instead of offering a round of lab tests. At the moment, i am not very open to other modalities, and only interested in testing a diet cause. I'm not sure exactly why i feel so adamant about this particular boundary, but it may simply be a personal need to manage change and disruption and experimentation. I am probably influenced by the long periods it took to determine the right psychoactive drugs for treating my depression some years ago. (I've been managing my depression unmedicated since 2000.) Determining that something is "working" -- that it is changing the deeper behaviors, trends, and reactions -- requires a long observation time to normalize out all the noise.

I appreciate the references from tenacious_snail and her friend klrmn. If Dr C doesn't work out, insisting on exploring modalities i find unsupported, i will follow up on those recommendations.