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Friday i slept very late (for me) and the day seemed to just wash away. Since i was taking it off to rest, that's probably OK. This morning has also dissolved into distraction, although i did have a nice Skype chat with my parents.
I'm feeling some resistance around thinking about the coming year this [Saturday] morning. More after the cut.
--==++==--
It's Sunday morning now. Christine is sleeping off a migraine. We went to be incredibly early but that's where our energy level was. We'd gone to Chipolte to get dinner between 6 and 7, and driving home i noted that it felt much later than it really was. After watching the last half of _Encounters at the End of the World_ by Werner Herzog, i was done with the day, and so was Christine.
Yesterday it seems all i did was make deviled eggs for a brunch and then go to the brunch (three hours). Time just slips away.
--==++==--
PREVIOUSLY: http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/tag/new+year%27s+dreams
Lesson 3: Finding Time for Your Dreams
(I realize i haven't given the source for this work, New Years Wishes E-Book , http://www.schooloftheseasons.com/store.html#naturalplanner )
So the last section of the planner ends with the injunction, "Resist the urge to get your wishes and dreams locked down into little boxes. What you are looking for in this sorting process is a feeling of excitement and inspiration. You want words that sparkle, a scheme that lights you up. "
And somehow that just quashes me. Sparkle, merf. Sparkle, herumph! Excitement, ha.
I'm pretty sure i'm running away from confronting something at this point: whether it's a deeper issue or just residual exhaustion is hard to tell. Some part of this is the whole issue of balance. My dreams and imagination outstrip my energy and time, although i suspect there's a great deal of "frittered" energy and time.
It's hard to get "sparkly" about getting professional rug cleaning done, getting HEPA filters, splurging on dust mite barriers for comforters and mattresses -- have you seen the prices on those things?
I know that clutter causes mental and emotional turbulence and contributes to the overwhelm.
I worked *hard* on health issues last year: a month of reading and learning (which was no fun), then finding a practitioner, then actually following through with the experiments. These aren't happy glowy sparkly goals but it's necessary. The small bump in energy that i think i see by being on a nearly wheat free diet helps. Identifying the vitamin D deficiency helps. Having a semi-believable battery of tests that narrow my allergy triggers to just dust mites takes a certain amount of second guessing off my plate.
[A day passes] The planning is helpful, even if it seems oddly inefficient to spend two months of Saturday (and Sunday) mornings on the rest of the ten months. On the other hand, even if i wasn't sick, i know that the short days of this time of year coincide with low energy and motivation on my part. I don't fight it any more but have tried to find what is good for me to do now. Dreaming and planning is a good match.
The workbook suggests choosing "themes" or "touchstones." I've been able to do this with meditation growth for a handful of years, but i feel resistant. I skim through the rest of the workbook and note that some of it is work i've already done (developing a framework on which to plan) and some of it is a prompt to a creative playful visioning.
I'm feeling some resistance around thinking about the coming year this [Saturday] morning. More after the cut.
--==++==--
It's Sunday morning now. Christine is sleeping off a migraine. We went to be incredibly early but that's where our energy level was. We'd gone to Chipolte to get dinner between 6 and 7, and driving home i noted that it felt much later than it really was. After watching the last half of _Encounters at the End of the World_ by Werner Herzog, i was done with the day, and so was Christine.
Yesterday it seems all i did was make deviled eggs for a brunch and then go to the brunch (three hours). Time just slips away.
--==++==--
PREVIOUSLY: http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/tag/new+year%27s+dreams
Lesson 3: Finding Time for Your Dreams
(I realize i haven't given the source for this work, New Years Wishes E-Book , http://www.schooloftheseasons.com/store.html#naturalplanner )
So the last section of the planner ends with the injunction, "Resist the urge to get your wishes and dreams locked down into little boxes. What you are looking for in this sorting process is a feeling of excitement and inspiration. You want words that sparkle, a scheme that lights you up. "
And somehow that just quashes me. Sparkle, merf. Sparkle, herumph! Excitement, ha.
I'm pretty sure i'm running away from confronting something at this point: whether it's a deeper issue or just residual exhaustion is hard to tell. Some part of this is the whole issue of balance. My dreams and imagination outstrip my energy and time, although i suspect there's a great deal of "frittered" energy and time.
It's hard to get "sparkly" about getting professional rug cleaning done, getting HEPA filters, splurging on dust mite barriers for comforters and mattresses -- have you seen the prices on those things?
I know that clutter causes mental and emotional turbulence and contributes to the overwhelm.
I worked *hard* on health issues last year: a month of reading and learning (which was no fun), then finding a practitioner, then actually following through with the experiments. These aren't happy glowy sparkly goals but it's necessary. The small bump in energy that i think i see by being on a nearly wheat free diet helps. Identifying the vitamin D deficiency helps. Having a semi-believable battery of tests that narrow my allergy triggers to just dust mites takes a certain amount of second guessing off my plate.
[A day passes] The planning is helpful, even if it seems oddly inefficient to spend two months of Saturday (and Sunday) mornings on the rest of the ten months. On the other hand, even if i wasn't sick, i know that the short days of this time of year coincide with low energy and motivation on my part. I don't fight it any more but have tried to find what is good for me to do now. Dreaming and planning is a good match.
The workbook suggests choosing "themes" or "touchstones." I've been able to do this with meditation growth for a handful of years, but i feel resistant. I skim through the rest of the workbook and note that some of it is work i've already done (developing a framework on which to plan) and some of it is a prompt to a creative playful visioning.
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