I'm not sure what got into my head this morning, but i spent most of my reflection time writing a script to extract data from a file, and then figuring out how excel could chart it, which involved pivot tables. The files are concatenated output from running another tiny script which gets the date and time and then pings my ISP's DNS server and my mail server twenty times. We've been having
some periods of very slow response time, and i wanted to get some documentation to my ISP.
Excel, how the *^(* do i "title" your bloody axes? [This is rhetorical, please do not answer. The "help" has indicated that i need to have my formatting palette visible; this is a Office 2008 for Mac specific headache.]
--==∞==--
I have dropped down in emotional energy from yesterday morning's distress. I think a comment from![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mopalia helped in that it helped kick me back into recognizing that i choose my quality of life options. If X is the price of Y, so be it. Mostly though, i think calming down was brought by a hormonal shift.
I feel awfully wimpy to complain about the little things i complain about. I have some anger that will take a long time to sort out: anger that my mother, aware enough to read my diary because she feared suicide, didn't get me professional help for my depression when i was young; anger that my parents were so (are so) "stoic" that they ignore their physical well being until incapacitated and thus i am doing catch up now on learning appropriate management of my well being. I am doubly angry as i wonder about the past and how much depression might have been being physically unwell.
So, i know i am a skipping record [and how long will that metaphor carry vivid meaning?] as the anger shows up along with old repressed feelings and i need to just let those feelings wash through me. Somehow, feeling present feelings is so much easier than old repressed ones.
--==∞==--
Grey skies, warm tea.
Edward wanting out first thing.
Greycie Loo has finally learned to snuggle me and give Christine the imperious looks.
A parade of leafblowers.
Time to work.
some periods of very slow response time, and i wanted to get some documentation to my ISP.
Excel, how the *^(* do i "title" your bloody axes? [This is rhetorical, please do not answer. The "help" has indicated that i need to have my formatting palette visible; this is a Office 2008 for Mac specific headache.]
--==∞==--
I have dropped down in emotional energy from yesterday morning's distress. I think a comment from
mopalia helped in that it helped kick me back into recognizing that i choose my quality of life options. If X is the price of Y, so be it. Mostly though, i think calming down was brought by a hormonal shift.I feel awfully wimpy to complain about the little things i complain about. I have some anger that will take a long time to sort out: anger that my mother, aware enough to read my diary because she feared suicide, didn't get me professional help for my depression when i was young; anger that my parents were so (are so) "stoic" that they ignore their physical well being until incapacitated and thus i am doing catch up now on learning appropriate management of my well being. I am doubly angry as i wonder about the past and how much depression might have been being physically unwell.
So, i know i am a skipping record [and how long will that metaphor carry vivid meaning?] as the anger shows up along with old repressed feelings and i need to just let those feelings wash through me. Somehow, feeling present feelings is so much easier than old repressed ones.
--==∞==--
Grey skies, warm tea.
Edward wanting out first thing.
Greycie Loo has finally learned to snuggle me and give Christine the imperious looks.
A parade of leafblowers.
Time to work.
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