![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Brief moments spent talking about perhaps buying some intermediate "device" like a netbook -- This looks lovely: http://shop.lenovo.com/us/landing_pages/info/10/skylight
I continue to wonder how flexible android is as an OS. Would i be able to port things like FreeMind to the OS? http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2010/03/run_java_apps_on_android.html
--==∞==--
So this morning i can't make it back through all the LJ entries from friends. This makes me wonder about the sense of famine, of "LJ is becoming a ghost town:" how much is obsessive reading during the day vs actual quantity.
I wonder if there are weekly patterns. I have wondered in the past if there are "weekday mostly" LJers.
--==∞==--
Day one of the identity conference was fine. I actually spoke with people and went to dinner and had a HUGE glass of wine (that wait staff kept dumping the last of bottles in -- thank heavens i have no wine palate because surely that's not ideal) and managed to have pleasant conversation with three others. Our quartet was gender balanced and apparently age balanced: two were clearly early career while i and the other had been through several career changes. I was moderately comfortable, but was very aware of how two persons were disclosing -- talking about projects, personal life -- and two, including myself, were advising and questioning. I found myself wondering how "obvious" i appeared (did it seem obvious what my background was so no questions were asked?) or what kept questions from coming my way. I tried to disclose as topics came up, but wondered why statements like "i did research in Los Alamos in New Mexico" didn't get followed up on. And now i realize that the fellow my age did ask if how long i'd resided in California and where i'd lived before. I didn't mention research in NM then, just previous residence, which did lead to discussion of his upcoming conference attendance there and his belief the state must be wonderful.
Metabolizing the wine overnight apparently led to fitful sleep. I often wake in the early hours after consuming alcohol: i imagine it's when i "sober" up.
I'm really really happy with my energy level today. I reflect on how down i was last November for this conference: i realize just how much i internalize irrational associations. Last year i was sick and depressed: i develop an unexamined fear that attending the conference again will make me sick and depressed. It's only clear that the fear was there in my growing surprise that i'm OK after all!
I worry i over-disclosed to a potential business competitor -- because i woke several times worried about it -- but as i was speaking with him i tried to carefully refrain from both untruths or too much disclosure. In many ways his business could help ours so i want to help foster that. I'll likely see him or his company at the meeting in NC in June.
--==∞==--
I will try to take care of myself today. The rain that has been softly falling and the sound of cars on the wet pavement has been very comforting this morning. I indulged in sugar during the afternoon snack yesterday and MUST not today. There are plenty of nuts and dried fruit for me.
I don't think folks are assessing my wedding-ring-less finger, but i did find myself wishing i could be wearing it. The flush of tiny little bumps precludes wearing the ring (which would cause the mechanical irritation and go further in the rash cycle). The good news is i now can be fairly certain that the Navaho silver in the ring does not cause the breakout. Although i continue to wonder about getting the rings for our tenth anniversary, the rich dinner at Gary Danko to celebrate, and then the horrible physical reaction i had afterwards. I remind myself there were were other potential triggers: a leg rash i'd put random hotel lotion on that had erupted into a chemical burn... Eight years, five months....
I continue to wonder how flexible android is as an OS. Would i be able to port things like FreeMind to the OS? http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2010/03/run_java_apps_on_android.html
--==∞==--
So this morning i can't make it back through all the LJ entries from friends. This makes me wonder about the sense of famine, of "LJ is becoming a ghost town:" how much is obsessive reading during the day vs actual quantity.
I wonder if there are weekly patterns. I have wondered in the past if there are "weekday mostly" LJers.
--==∞==--
Day one of the identity conference was fine. I actually spoke with people and went to dinner and had a HUGE glass of wine (that wait staff kept dumping the last of bottles in -- thank heavens i have no wine palate because surely that's not ideal) and managed to have pleasant conversation with three others. Our quartet was gender balanced and apparently age balanced: two were clearly early career while i and the other had been through several career changes. I was moderately comfortable, but was very aware of how two persons were disclosing -- talking about projects, personal life -- and two, including myself, were advising and questioning. I found myself wondering how "obvious" i appeared (did it seem obvious what my background was so no questions were asked?) or what kept questions from coming my way. I tried to disclose as topics came up, but wondered why statements like "i did research in Los Alamos in New Mexico" didn't get followed up on. And now i realize that the fellow my age did ask if how long i'd resided in California and where i'd lived before. I didn't mention research in NM then, just previous residence, which did lead to discussion of his upcoming conference attendance there and his belief the state must be wonderful.
Metabolizing the wine overnight apparently led to fitful sleep. I often wake in the early hours after consuming alcohol: i imagine it's when i "sober" up.
I'm really really happy with my energy level today. I reflect on how down i was last November for this conference: i realize just how much i internalize irrational associations. Last year i was sick and depressed: i develop an unexamined fear that attending the conference again will make me sick and depressed. It's only clear that the fear was there in my growing surprise that i'm OK after all!
I worry i over-disclosed to a potential business competitor -- because i woke several times worried about it -- but as i was speaking with him i tried to carefully refrain from both untruths or too much disclosure. In many ways his business could help ours so i want to help foster that. I'll likely see him or his company at the meeting in NC in June.
--==∞==--
I will try to take care of myself today. The rain that has been softly falling and the sound of cars on the wet pavement has been very comforting this morning. I indulged in sugar during the afternoon snack yesterday and MUST not today. There are plenty of nuts and dried fruit for me.
I don't think folks are assessing my wedding-ring-less finger, but i did find myself wishing i could be wearing it. The flush of tiny little bumps precludes wearing the ring (which would cause the mechanical irritation and go further in the rash cycle). The good news is i now can be fairly certain that the Navaho silver in the ring does not cause the breakout. Although i continue to wonder about getting the rings for our tenth anniversary, the rich dinner at Gary Danko to celebrate, and then the horrible physical reaction i had afterwards. I remind myself there were were other potential triggers: a leg rash i'd put random hotel lotion on that had erupted into a chemical burn... Eight years, five months....