Luigi's vet visit brought no news.
My Wednesday blood work last week revealed low platelets but otherwise normal blood cells. This points to a condition more rare than the more concerning causes like leukemia. The proposed diagnosis is an immune system issue known as Immune thrombocytopenia. I go back tomorrow for more blood tests including test to exclude micro-nutrient deficits and HIV. Next week i have a hematology appointment.
Meanwhile, rainy long weekend. Rainy Monday. Monday night was internet and power outages and lots o disrupted sleep. I think we had at least three inches of rain, but i didn't hit record as i called out the measurements as i made them. I do have a recording of my cussing as i realize i hadn't recorded.
I go back and forth in feelings about the thrombocytopenia: i think it's the vague prospects of how this will have to be handled which appear to run from monitoring to splenectomy that unsettles me. (Removing the spleen will stop the spleen from removing platelets and show it who is boss!) (But??? i assume it does something useful, too??) I am feeling much better than the distress i had as i became covered with unexplained bruises. Feeling confident leukemia has ruled out is reassuring. I suppose lupus is ruled out as i had a negative ANA measure (Arthritis Res Ther. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9446556/# 2022; 24: 213.doi: 10.1186/s13075-022-02901-y). https://doi.org/10.1186%2Fs13075-022-02901-y
I'm exhausted. I'm remember just how exhausted i was some weeks ago, i think maybe i'm less exhausted than then but.. just so tired. Maybe it's the [probable] thrombocytopenia, maybe it's just everything else.
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I know that second wish. And when i feel the helplessness where all i can offer is a Quaker "Holding you in the Light", i think to a time when i had a 106°F fever from pneumonia and only Christine knew how sick i was. Yet when i felt so -- dire -- i also felt a response of love and care. At that moment i was convinced that prayer/love transcends time and that i was receiving the comfort and love sent to me in the future.
I had a reverse sense of that, too, singing the Mariner's Hymn at my grandfather's funeral and a sudden sense of connection to his time as a submariner in the Pacific War of WWII and awareness of the distress of listening to depth charges. Maybe it was merely a fancy. But it has helped me keep that faith.
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