elainegrey

Made an absolute disaster of a loaf of soda bread. Don't ask, not worth recounting the horror, but one part of the failure involved mistakenly adding a cup of melted butter. I ate some and was both attracted and repulsed. I think one of the flours was stale. I dumped the loaf in the compost.

I also made a "Mexican sweet corn cake" which actually called for a cup of melted butter. That seems to have turned out better, but i'm turned off and won't have any. I had a headache before the disaster loaf, so it may not just be the disaster.

The fig tree is producing SO MANY FIGS. Figs were involved with the disaster loaf. I don't know what i am going to do about the figs, particularly the ones so hard to reach. Ants and wasps are going to have fun feasting. Is this bad? I suppose i should get a jar out for fruit vinegar making.

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Tuesday morning: i feel a little better. I spent time with a colleague at work who was a little triggered about new requirements. I hope she felt i was on her side, but i fear i am ... oh, Gandalf arriving at Rohan, what was he called? Stormcrow and Láthspell -- nothing but complexity and more work and a blizzard of new concepts and ideas.

In good news, the contact at the optometrist and i had a conversation where she noted that they were setting up new systems and she along with some other person was shocked to hear what i was reading. It sounded like it was a fairly new system and i was asked for screen shots and other troubleshooting material. She sounded genuine and didn't pressure me to fill it out anyhow or other sketchy behavior. Instead i felt her gratitude was real. So, i feel much better.

Some teeny resentment of doing QA work for them, also a small hope i'm a very early guinea pig.

I am reminded of how often i do the online paperwork hoop for my medical provider and am handed the same documents at the office, because no one does the online things. With the link to the paperwork so sketchy in this case, maybe i was the first person. I dunno.

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In sad news, i failed to rescue a bluebird fledgling from Carrie and got to watch her crunch and swallow. I am a little horrified in my heart, even if my mind understands how so much of the natural systems reproduce so abundantly to cover the eat and be eaten quality of wild life.

I and Christine, my spouse of thirty years, live at our home in Chatham County, NC with our three cats and dog. I try to give Christine some privacy here while allowing myself to write about the intersection of our life together.

As our pets change more frequently, here are our current companions:

Edward is a cream ticked tabby, with coarse short hair. He joined us on 2008-07-01, and we think he is currently eighteen years old. He has always been a very large cat, and he's over 20 lbs. He has diabetes and, for over a year, we've been dosing him with seven units of insulin, 8 am and 8 pm. These days Edward spends most of his time on the bed sleeping. If he sees us in the back yard, he might come out to join us. He's begun to come into the living room a little more.

Luigi is a orange ticked tabby, with incredibly soft short guard hair and a plush undercoat. For some years now, he hasn't been grooming well, and the soft coat gets matted. Both Luigi and Edwards were strays in our neighborhood in the late 2007 and 2008 period. Luigi might be six months older than Edward. Luigi was adopted by our neighbor, and we got to know him well. When our neighbor was forced to move and couldn't find a place to live with him, we adopted him in 2015. Luigi is large, around 20 pounds. He has arthritis and Christine is giving him laser treatments several times a week. Luigi spends time with Edward in the bedroom, but also comes out to join us in the living room.

Marlowe is a blue ticked tabby, with soft short hair. She joined us on 2019-11-09 as a very young kitten. She's looking much more a cat these days, although she is so much smaller than the boy-os. She's approaching eight pounds. She's very active and busy, spending much time in the orchard, but very recently she's begun to be much more of a lap cat.

Carrie is a found hound who joined us in 2017-01-14 at about a year old. She has a primarily a black coat, with white ruff, stockings, and tail tip. Her ears and face are a warm brown. Her ruff is much more collie like, and so is her flagged tail, and when we have watched her with broider collies there's a strong resemblance. Mostly she is hound, with a strong chase and hunt instinct. She sleeps most of the day, but has restless periods when she is in and out and in and out of the house. In the late afternoon she's ready for us to play with her.

Delight yesterday was enabled to being alerted to something outside by Carrie. Marlowe was stalking towards the wild back corner. I released the hound, on the theory that Carrie might startle off a mourning dove that Marlowe might actually catch. I watched Carrie bark-barking towards the woods and Marlowe staring towards the glade and finally saw what Marlowe saw. A nice sized raccoon rolling-strolling towards the "pool" -- the wading pool sunk into the ground which a pickerel frog has been frequenting. The raccoon got into the pool and, i presume, was hunting around for said frog. Marlowe stared, Christine and i stared. The 'coon hoisted themself out of the pool, and began to amble back towards the woods. Finally Carrie sees the 'coon and begins even more barking. The 'coon turns and stares at Carrie. Marlowe bolts to the deck (GOOD CAT! COME TO SAFETY!). After a good long stare, the 'coon resumes ambling back to the woods. Carrie continues barking. And barking. And barking. The poor dear finally came in, exhausted.

I am more confident now that raccoons (and maybe possums) are what she is barking at in the evening in the dark. I do think the deer are not that bold.

Later my mood was smashed. Carrie came running from the front room and wanted out NOW. I looked out to see Marlowe with a yellow form in her mouth. Carrie gallows over, steals it from her, and it takes me a few minutes to recover the hooded warbler's body. I take it to the glade, and bury it in the leaves underneath the copse of trees. I sit on the bench in front of St Francis and hope that i am doing more good for critters on the whole than not, knowing the lithe, grey angel of the hunt that is Marlowe has years ahead of her. Edward was a competent hunter as well and could probably still manage rodents, reptiles, and amphibians. (I can't imagine him catching birds now; he did in California.)

I know people have more enclosed spaces to keep cats from expressing all their predatory instincts. We've compromised on our fencing investment: deer out, dogs and cats in. Big enough for Carrie to run laps. My fruit trees have to cope with shade, but the chestnuts will be more or less protected from squirrels by Carrie. Part of the compromise is there is no separate "catio" and Marlowe is hunting. I guess i should prune the lower limbs of the spicebush plants back in that wild corner. I think one of the young dogwoods is already infected anyhow. Maybe a bigger gap between ground and branches will help the song birds.

On a slightly different note -- how was Carrie able to know that Marlowe had the bird?

I'm not sure where therapy is headed, except in a few months my therapist is leaving the insurance group, ( Notes )
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Yesterday, I saw another another hawk, this one a red-tail, just outside my work window at noon yesterday. They perched for several minutes, turning on the perch, allowing me plenty of time to look at the feather patterns and both sides of the tail. Then they glided into the garden, ate something, and then flew off. After eating i walked a bit outside and heard two hawks calling to each other. Spring is in the air.

Also on the walk i noticed more daffodils sprouting and a clump of star of Bethlehem leaves near the driveway. I guess it's time to go looking for bluets.

In the early evening, coyotes called over a chorus of frogs. I suspect that the hawk had found a frog or toad in the garden, given the audible activity.

Marlowe is collarless this morning, much hissy-fit between her and Edward. And i moved Luigi on top of the hassock so that Edward can't bite him.

Yesterday evening, as in other evenings recently, Carrie is crawling up on Christine's shoulder when they are on the couch. Internet says either "aww, luv" or "dog is demonstrating she thinks she's dominant, nip in bud!" We discussed: not sure we are ready to go full pack theory. She's also licking her lips (internet says sign of anxiety) and trembling. Hound dogs are so different from shepherds.

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There was a slight unpleasantness at work with someone taking my behavior to my boss. I'm pretty sure it was (probably unconscious) retaliation for not backing down. If A is going to work as discussed B must be done*; B won't be done until May. But the Someone doesn't want to wait months and months. So Someone will do a partial solution that can be done without A. Then, 45 minutes into the meeting i called, we returned to my topic. At the end of the meeting, Someone wanted to know when the next step that i needed to do would be done. Not for two weeks was my answer, and when i was pressed to give a solid date, i balked.

After hearing that Someone complained to my boss about not getting a when i felt shame -- until a few hours had passed and i realized that Someone had signaled that the work was of little consequence (having postponed the meeting once, having derailed the topic in the meeting for something else). If Someone had called the meeting and was driving the work, i am sure i would have behaved differently. My boss said he didn't think i was in the wrong, given the whole context. I didn't say i thought it was retaliation, but we did discuss Someone's snit over the delay.

* It is true that A can potentially be hacked with baroque programming that leaves possibilities for security gaps, but the division leadership we are in has made it clear that that sort of "debt" is not going to be supported. AND the person i was engaged with would NEVER agree to their team doing such a hack. So "doing it wrong for speed's sake" is not on the table.

Monday morning: Marlowe proves that cats can get in the way of work without lying on the keyboard, they can lie down on your hands on the keyboard. Fortunately a fussy Carolina Wren (CARW) came along and got her attention. The bird landed on the screen just inches away from her nose. Ha: when the masons drove up she growled (and then ran away). Carrie is barking alert punctuated with chuffs.

Earlier, over the weekend: while it has been wet, and grey, and my rain gauge has been down, it has also been warm. At night and sometimes during the day i could hear frog calls.

Later, Monday afternoon, the sun cam out, first i've seen of it since before Christmas. I harnessed up Carrie and myself and we went to join my sister for a dog walk while my niblings rode bikes. So good to have some day light!

In complaints, Evernote on my work machine is near useless.

I am watching the weather with bated breath: could the long weekend actually have low humidity? Dew points in the 60s? Even a dew point of 60°F? Today the humidity adds another 12°F to the temperature for the heat index.

There is a ripening fig on the fig tree. I am so tickled. And so many little baby figs. I ponder https://www.giverecipe.com/unripe-fig-jam/ for this year, recognizing how busy i was at frost last year with the last of the tomatoes, the hibiscus. This master gardener page suggests thinning figs in Sonoma; doing so myself would make green fig preserves a reasonable thing to do early. Anyhow, a ripe fig! (And, as i am taking forever to post this -- it was very ripe whien i picked it tonight (Wednesday). i gently pulled it in half and ate it. Very mild -- i think the wet weather caused it to be softer and less flavorful than i would have expected. Still: yay! Yum!)

The runner beans took in a few places along the orchard fence: i hope that those thrive next year. I had imagined i would also have them in the garden, but it seems they never quite made it this cool year. Other pole beans are just now blossoming, so maybe i'll have some beans yet. The most exciting bean news is the wild kidney bean, Phaseolus polystachios, native and perennial, has taken hold at the north end of the area where the sunchokes grow, undeterred by any chemical warfare (allelopathic effects) of Helianthus tuberosus.

The rain on Monday night knocked some of the sunchokes down, but a large Argiope aurantia guards the stand. Wikipedia validates my wariness. Apparently the bite is like a bee sting. If i wasn't irrationally afraid of spiders, i think i would admire these. I am trying to desensitize, but but but.

The little corner of native perennials is rounded out with some sochan, Rudbeckia laciniata. It's lovely forest wildflower, that grows large and tall like the sunchokes and other aster flowers, but the greens in the spring are the edible crop. I've some plants that have started inside the orchard that i want to move out as part of the Fight The Stilt Grass project. Apparently its not favored by deer, so perhaps some day all the plants will be moved out of the protected part of the garden.

I'm imagining making a trellis from the two twin bed springs of out old bed. Last weekend i calculated the angle i would need for good sun (our north slope property makes me so very aware of the angle of the sun) and the height of the supports. I'll need to survey the slope and add the fall of the ground to the height. I'm not sure how ugly the propped up end of the trellis would be as one approaches the house: a wall of sochan would be pleasant for almost half the year, and i think they could cope with the shade of the trellis.

I remembered my mother's birthday with plenty of time to mail order a dress for her: hopefully the higher quality will be something she can enjoy. She did not commonly wear dresses, and so her new invalid wardrobe of easy to put on pull over knit dresses tends towards the inexpensive and flimsy. She knew quality, through her sharp years, always buying classic items as they went on deep sale. I believe part of her distaste for these clothes is not just that they are dresses but also that they are not quality. I hope this sweater dress is something Dad can easily dress her in and that she finds comfortable and attractive.

Meanwhile, confirmation that all the cat messes we need to clean up are not from our diabetic cat Edward but many are from young Marlowe. I suspect there's a significant amount of territoriality playing out. ARGH.

And Carrie has decided she wants to sleep with us. She pants, which i assume is anxiety, but about what? One night we had five of the six of us in the household in the bed, and the one not in it is small Marlowe.

HVAC: fixed -- there's a condensation drainage pipe with some sort of trap that was clogged up (not our maintenance fail) and once cleared, all was well. I know a few reassuring details such as yes, the external sensor should have two wires for one thermostat.

Mom pitched another fit about me coming over and, since there was HVAC anxiety, i stayed home and video chatted some with Mom. Now in a fit of calling my dad every thirty minutes to get him to follow up on his worries about mom - either calling her primary care provider or doing the home UTI test. Ideally both.

Last night fireflies flit in the tops of the pines while the waxing crescent moon cast my shadow on the drive. Today is overcast: we are promised rain soon. Afterwards i hope the air will no longer be green with pine pollen. I also expect a good rainstorm will determine the fitness of the Carolina wrens' latest construction before there are wren eggs to drown in the rain gutter.

One of my tiny pawpaw trees has a pawpaw flower bud! A lupine has sprouted near by: i wonder if it is a seed that lingered after last years seeding or a plant that survived last year's weed pressure. I spend the lunch hour walking around the yard with my hoe, chopping off the flower stalks and the rosettes of Oriental False Hawksbeard -- except for one day last week when there was an odd screaming sound and i was able to rescue the juvenile rabbit from Marlowe and Carrie.

The first three questions on the county news paper's FAQ about the county stay at home order: "Why", "How long", and, number three, "What gives the governor the authority to do this?" I can just hear, "He ain't the boss of me."

Sunday 13:08 - feeling clumsy as i try to leave a comment. I decide to start this journal entry and then realize i should go fill out my airtable (fancy spreadsheet) for the past few days.

13:33 I am avoiding interaction: i skipped Meeting and have a stack of meeting emails i am avoiding. I am semi-fabricating the excuse of a migraine. It wasn't a migraine but something like trimengial neuralgia with the left half of my face and scalp burning and aching for over 24 hours. I always feel i should push through, and i was able to do other things. Interact with humans other than Christine, not so much. And she's spending tons of time in the studio, polishing The Soundtrack of Now. I will get to hear the first installment soon.

The snow has been lovely. Our back yard, with the slight north slope with the tall pines to the south caught the snow that seemed to be blowing out of the north east. The front yard's north east corner was near empty. The back yard had snow still on Friday evening. Unfortunately the snow is not amenable for small grey kittens to "make water" as the euphemism goes, so Friday morning i found the dog bed had been used, and Saturday morning i caught her as she began to relieve her self right next to me in the bed. At least that misadventure only involved one sheet and the hated mattress. I woke suddenly this morning certain that another event had occurred, but i think i am merely confusing the heavy perfume from the cat "edition" of Nature's Miracle with what it is to cover. I carried her out to the new litter box in the back porch, our "sorry you can't use the wilderness" offering. I think she scampered around the snow to get to something comfortable.

I've "shoveled" a path on the deck and the deck stairs that should help. We shouldn't see freezing temperatures until next weekend, so the deck should be clear soon. Although i am looking out at the white glacier and not seeing much change. Meanwhile, the saucer magnolia looks like it's going to burst into pink blooms ANY MINUTE. Which means that with the freezing temperatures over next weekend it will be, yet again, frost burned for my birthday.

What weird weather.

17:09 I listened to Christine's first "chapter" and am just blown away. Not surprised, as i've enjoyed and been impressed by her writing and musings for decades. But... wow. https://www.patreon.com/perchance

Then i saw my sister had called and she had to cancel having breakfast with me (but we will still meet and strategized about mom & dad, and future work together). And she said my dad needed to talk about something with Mom -- some autoimmune issue may have cause the lung nodules and there's some doctor tracking that down. I may not have needed to say that i wonder about treating things when she has a degenerative cognitive condition, because Dad got sad, and i got sad too. A wave of grim mortality crashes over me.

One of the saddest things was Dad saying that mom had been so sweet the past few months - and i think of how bitter and acerbic she was in fighting with him as i grew up. Something about the wistfulness, the ache in his voice -- he isn't ready, he wants time with her. I witnessed their marriage and ... i just don't understand. I can't imagine.

I went out to play with the pets in the back yard as the sun goes down. We're hiding a rawhide chew for Carrie and letting her snuffle it out. It was hard a month or so ago for her to do it outside, but now she uses her nose and finds it. Marlowe ambushes and chases Carrie -- Carrie barely noticing. I suppose it's like a younger sibling "playing" with you when you have your big kid business going on. Seeing the boyos like lions prowling the savanna, and Carrie and Marlowe playing -- it's a tonic.

I want to say i am 98% sure we have a mouse. I'm entertained by that, because the only reason i can think that i've a 2% uncertainty is denial. I saw the rump as it slipped away, i cleaned up sign, and Marlowe is fascinated with something behind the fridge. We have at least one mouse. I'm not sude of my resistance to certainty.

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Carrie went out. Marlowe wanted to go as well, so i let her out. Carrie looked back at me, with a "Does she havta come out too?" look.

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Good morning energy overwhelming the possible cold, so far. I went to sleep early but also woke early. We'll see how long this lasts.